How to prevent shark attacks 101
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How to prevent shark attacks 101
1. Don't swim in the sea.
More than 99% of all shark attacks happen in large water masses, also known as oceans... The way to establish if you're in an ocean is to taste the water. It should taste salty.
2. Swim with fat people.
Always make sure there are fat people already in the water before you enter. Chances are you will be able to swim faster than them and save yourself.
3. Don't go in the water without a knife.
That's to stab the nearest swimmer when you see a shark. As soon as he/she bleeds profusely, swim as fast as you can to the shore and claim you tried your best to save him/her. You might end up getting an award for bravery.
4. Listen intently
All sharks have a 'theme song' - If you hear the following, swim for your life: da-dam, da-dam, da-dam. If it sounds like this dadam, dadam, dadam you're already gone.
5. Don't panic.
Stay calm when a shark bites you. It’s over, you're gone and it doesn't help you try and survive. The people on the shore will appreciate it, they don't want to hear your mad yelling and screaming, it's upsetting and you have to remember that it’s not all about you!
Lol got you hahaha its brilliant
More than 99% of all shark attacks happen in large water masses, also known as oceans... The way to establish if you're in an ocean is to taste the water. It should taste salty.
2. Swim with fat people.
Always make sure there are fat people already in the water before you enter. Chances are you will be able to swim faster than them and save yourself.
3. Don't go in the water without a knife.
That's to stab the nearest swimmer when you see a shark. As soon as he/she bleeds profusely, swim as fast as you can to the shore and claim you tried your best to save him/her. You might end up getting an award for bravery.
4. Listen intently
All sharks have a 'theme song' - If you hear the following, swim for your life: da-dam, da-dam, da-dam. If it sounds like this dadam, dadam, dadam you're already gone.
5. Don't panic.
Stay calm when a shark bites you. It’s over, you're gone and it doesn't help you try and survive. The people on the shore will appreciate it, they don't want to hear your mad yelling and screaming, it's upsetting and you have to remember that it’s not all about you!
Lol got you hahaha its brilliant
Bringel- Posts : 180
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Join date : 2010-01-25
Age : 37
Location : Cape Town
Re: How to prevent shark attacks 101
My tactic is to ask a newbie to join me for a dive.......hehehe
Vaatjie- Posts : 106
Breath Hold : 1
Join date : 2010-01-28
Age : 40
Location : Kuilsrivier
Re: How to prevent shark attacks 101
hahaha well remind me not to go diving with you soon ok lol joking
Bringel- Posts : 180
Breath Hold : 1
Join date : 2010-01-25
Age : 37
Location : Cape Town
Re: How to prevent shark attacks 101
hehehehe.....your best defense with the Johnneis is to use you head
Vaatjie- Posts : 106
Breath Hold : 1
Join date : 2010-01-28
Age : 40
Location : Kuilsrivier
Re: How to prevent shark attacks 101
I know what you mean i jsust kopstump a shark!!! lol hahaha
Bringel- Posts : 180
Breath Hold : 1
Join date : 2010-01-25
Age : 37
Location : Cape Town
Re: How to prevent shark attacks 101
Lol hahaha theres a gun up for grabs well im new to spearing and it would be nice to win my fish spear gun lol
Bringel- Posts : 180
Breath Hold : 1
Join date : 2010-01-25
Age : 37
Location : Cape Town
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